Claiming Mothers

Cancer does that. She did that to me. But today I shall lay off. I don’t wish to give her too much airtime. Smug little piece of…. No I shall not. She isn’t even worth it.

Claiming mothers though, not cancer, Me! I have been claiming mothers. You see I still need a mother figure and not to replace or be a mother to me ( My mum did a remarkable job) but more like just to feel that warmth in my heart sometimes.You know how mothers give you that?

If you have lost a mother, you probably can relate. How you you start claiming someone else’s mum ( mostly your friends)? How you want to have conversations with them or just to wish them a good day? No? Well i just noticed I have been doing this a lot of late.

I have gone to my friend Stephanie’s house countable times, we haven’t been friends for too long (Those of you who think i’m claiming your friend too, relax,not her ,just her mum,lol) but I may very well have fallen in love with her mother. Has Musho’s mum ever given you a hug? Has she offered you tea or coffee at her house?and then gone ahead to drop a sarcastic or funny comment that left you in tears?(happy tears just so we are clear) I really feel the motherly love from this remarkable woman and when she asks Stephanie to send me a hug, oh i die.

I didn’t stop there though, I am collecting mothers as I go. I am currently in Sweden and Diana fell victim to this, what shall we call it?abomination? absurd behavior?, whatever, she fell victim. She was meant to be like the figure that shows me around here and helps me get by and she may or may not be close with me, all that mattered is that we had some sort of relation. But no…trust me to make Diana my swede mum!! I love her to pieces. You know the types of houses where you go and you know where everything is in the kitchen and which sofa is the most comfortable?Yeah. That’s her place. I even have a room in her house for sleep over nights!!! Vad kul! Du ar mamma, Diana 🙂 Tack sa mycket.

Text message: “Hi Barbie, how are you? Are you with Vaneeh?”  My best friend’s mum and I are texting buddies. Two to three texts that are not about her daughter makes us texting buddies right? Well i have insisted, we are! I call her mum too. Vanessa gives me a good laugh, her mum though? I could spend hours on end with her and I wouldn’t mind if Vanessa wasn’t there.Her house is home too, sleepovers? More like ” I am coming to use and wear the clothes I left here last time.” And with her it is even more mother like, she says no to us together. No not just Vanessa and then I can break the rules. Nope, No as in “Barbara my dear daughter, I said no” I love her. Please text me soon mum, sawa? Claimed mother? Very much so!

His mum. My good friend remember? From now on he shall go by El jefe,lol. Anyway,El Jefe’s mum? I claimed her too…now her place is like my second home. Call in to check at hers if you cannot reach me, I will probably be there. The atmosphere and energy I get when I am at her house is amazing, calming, homely! I love it there. I think if I get into particulars about how close we are (or how close I am insisting we are?I feel we are close, are we close?lol) you might judge me so I would rather not. But being one of the people who finishes the sweet Bananas in her house, I think you can figure it out. I even find it hard to call her by her name or aunty so and so.

You know how we Kenyans do that? OR do other people do it as well?maybe it is not just Kenyans.. But how someone who is not your real aunt becomes ” Aunty…” because you don’t want to be disrespectful and use their first name? Well even this “polite” way of addressing her doesn’t sit well with me. I can’t get myself to do it. It’s either “Hi mum” or just “Hi”  I always mutter the “mum” under my breath though, I must admit. Boys are over protective with their mums. I think she hears it though 🙂  Mummy number 4 down!

I am doing well 🙂

Well this post is just an appreciation post for all those ladies who have made me feel like I can go back to being a daughter for a bit. Those who have shown me love and made me realize  that despite that storm, it really is not a bad life. I have them at least. Thank You Mummies!

Daughters and Sons I am not taking them, you can have them, but treat them well,otherwise, i don’t mind being “Favorite daughter” ever! Parents do this you know? Where your friends are better than you? lol. Watch out 🙂

Have a good one,

love and love






  • Steffi
    3 years ago

    This made me smile girl! I’m glad my mum makes you feel all warm. We can certainly share my mum though I’m worried you might just become favorite daughter.

    • 3 years ago

      Hahaha If i do , with no ill intention of course. Lol . Thank you 🙂

  • 3 years ago

    Hi Barbara. It’s Vaneeh’s Mum – – – it’s true I am a claimed Mother because I read your blog and I have cried and cried —- until Vaneeh is surprised. It is true that you are now a Mother too but remember she said that the sunshine would surely come so there is hope and a bright future for you and your siblings. And yes I will text you……

    • 3 years ago

      Hi muuum!! Aww don’t cry too hard. There really is.. thank you so much and we shall see each other soon 🙂

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