I still can’t believe you’re gone. It’s going to be two years soon and to me it feels like yesterday. Your absence is still strongly felt and it all just seems so unreal.
I find myself wondering how people who have lost their parents for a longer period have survived.
In the past two months alone I have met a good number of people who seem to have the same story ” I lost my mum when I was…” “My dad passed away last year..” “I lost both my parents at… ” What is common with all of them, however, is that you would never tell that they carry such burdens!
When these things happen you always think you’re the only one hurting in this way even when you know for certain you aren’t the only one. I get inspired by these type of people everyday and I know that I will be just fine without you.
Doesn’t mean I don’t miss you though.
As a matter of fact,I miss you so much I have started seeing you around of late.
I see you in different people. Random People. People I know. Anyone and Everyone really.
Its not once that a woman has walked in my field of vision and I have thought “Mum” …sometimes I have had to hold myself back from actually saying it aloud.
They stand in a certain angle and you flash right infront of my eyes but just as fast , you’re gone! They laugh and you are right there but not for too long.
I see you in mothers who go shopping with their daughters hand in hand like bestfriends and think ” That could be us but the way Cancer is set up…..”
I see you in my sister! Her strong Character at such a young age, her commanding nature, and not in a bad way. The way she carries herself around.
I see you all the time mum and sometimes I wish I could freeze your Image just a bit longer! I wish I could rewind back time. I just wish, I wish…
I haven’t told you though how much grandma reminds me of you! My imagination has convinced me that if i was lucky enough to see you age you would look exactly like her! Identical! Her laughter reminds me of you and so does the curve of her front teeth, I have that too….your sisters say It makes me look a lot like you…actually they are already saying I look exactly like you!
It was concours the other day. Do you remember how excited you would get over it? Mainly because you would get to dress up? Ahhh good times….I wore all white like you did on your last ever concours event three years ago. I even wore your white hat. I know, I know, I copied your look. Guilty as charged! What can I say, you
got had style girl!
Anyway, I just thought I should say Hi, especially after a lady walked past me two days ago and I could have sworn it was you. How is it without the pain and the endless joy and happiness there? Are you okay? I hope you are.
Rest well and see you soon.