Hi Mum…

I still can’t believe you’re gone. It’s going to be two years soon and to me it feels like yesterday. Your absence is still strongly felt and it all just seems so unreal.

I find myself wondering how people who have lost their parents for a longer period have survived.

In the past two months alone I have met a good number of people who seem to have the same story ” I lost my mum when I was…” “My dad passed away last year..” “I lost both my parents at… ” What is common with all of them, however, is that you would never tell that they carry such burdens!

When these things happen you always think you’re the only one hurting in this way even when you know for certain you aren’t the only one. I get inspired by these type of people everyday and I know that I will be just fine without you.

Doesn’t mean I don’t miss you though.

As a matter of fact,I miss you so much I have started seeing you around of late.

I see you in different people. Random People. People I know. Anyone and Everyone really.

Its not once that a woman has walked in my field of vision and I have thought “Mum” …sometimes I have had to hold myself back from actually saying it aloud.

They stand in a certain angle and you flash right infront of my eyes but just as fast , you’re gone! They laugh and you are right there but not for too long.

I see you in mothers who go shopping with their daughters hand in hand like bestfriends and  think ” That could be us but the way Cancer is set up…..”

I see you in my sister! Her strong Character at such a young age, her commanding nature, and not in a bad way. The way she carries herself around.

I see you all the time mum and sometimes I wish I could freeze your Image just a bit longer! I wish I could rewind back time. I just wish, I wish…

I haven’t told you though how much grandma reminds me of you! My imagination has convinced me that if i was lucky enough to see you age you would look exactly like her! Identical! Her laughter reminds me of you and so does the curve of her front teeth, I have that too….your sisters say It makes me look a lot like you…actually they are already saying I look exactly like you!

It was concours the other day. Do you remember how excited you would get over it? Mainly because you would get to dress up? Ahhh good times….I wore all white like you did on your last ever concours event three years ago. I even wore your white hat. I know, I know, I copied your look. Guilty as charged! What can I say, you got  had style girl!                                          DSC_0169

IMAG0279

Anyway, I just thought I should say Hi, especially after a lady walked past me two days ago and I could have sworn it was you. How is it without the pain and the endless joy and happiness there? Are you okay? I hope you are.

Rest well and see you soon.

Love B.

p.s. Kisses for you IMAG0290

Comments

comments

15 Comments

  • Joy
    3 years ago

    As always an amazing read…

  • mwende
    3 years ago

    Love it!!
    13yrs since mine died and i swear i used to see her face in the randomest of people hahsa now its just her sister who reminds me of her.

    • 3 years ago

      Awww thank you, I am glad you liked the piece! May your mothers soul continue to rest in eternal peace :*

  • 3 years ago

    Reblogged this on TwistdPieces's Blog.

  • Steffi M
    3 years ago

    Always leaves me teary eyed. 🙂 May she rest in peace

    • 3 years ago

      Thank you, thanks for reading 🙂 x

  • 3 years ago

    Good read…sorry for your loss … may she continue resting in peace.

    • 3 years ago

      Thank you Joseph and thanks for reading.

  • 3 years ago

    Concours? how did we not bump into each other? /o
    The fact that you’re seeing her means that you’re becoming more and more powerful, emotionally and physically. You’re earning your wings darling, and she’s hella proud as always.
    Also, your face is beautiful.
    *Mapenzi.Love* 🙂

    • 3 years ago

      awww shucks!! But I love you so much! Thank you babe 🙂 xx

  • Leila
    3 years ago

    You write so beautifully, I can’t not get emotional after reading..
    Xx your strength is inspiring babe

    • 3 years ago

      awww Leila, thank you 🙂 xx
      I am glad it is… thanks.

  • raegz
    3 years ago

    Nice peace Barbara.. So much truth for sure . I share all these sentiments with you .. Be blessed

    • 3 years ago

      Thank you Raegz! God bless you .

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