Am I weird?

Disclaimer : I wrote this post 3 months ago and I just stumbled upon it as I was going through my archives. Many times I pen type my thoughts and emotions etc but I rarely get to publish. For one reason or another the posts are not publish worthy and I save them in my archives and keep it moving. This one in particular did not make it because I felt that I would truly be judged and taken for a weirdo. I read it again though today and with the mood im in im thinking…..Who gives a hoot, it is my blog and my writing and my experiences, so if you think I’m crazy, that’s on you right? ( Lol, you should see me trying to master up the courage to hit publish, HERE GOES NOTHING! )


Hey, am I weird? Is it weird?Is it weird that I remember? That I always Remember? I heard if you remember it should essentially mean that you are dead, or not of this earth no more. Is this true?

Is it weird that I remember my dreams vividly? That I remember every single emotion I felt in the dream. If there was pain I remember the feeling and sometimes when I think about it, I feel like the pain is still there. My friend told me it is a weird thing that happens when people remember their dreams.

However, I recently picked out a pattern though. More often than not , the dreams I remember revolve around her. The dreams I remember always feature her as the guest star. The dreams though…

The dreams are usually weird, some of them scare me to the bone such that If I happen to wake from them in the middle of the night, I cannot seem to go back to sleep.

Now see I don’t know why I am having these dreams when I asked her politely to not show up in my dreams. Mainly because I don’t have the bone for it, but apparently I do. I am actually not scared when I meet her in the dream but the events around the dream are usually terrifying!

Many a times, her purpose in the dream is to tell me what to do. To go left or right, to believe them or not, to jump or not, this way or that way……I feel like you get the flow yes?

Usually the dreams are very specific and I remember all the characters but I feel the need to keep identities a secret. This is because these are just dreams right? Plus there is a high chance that my mind is messing with me ALSO I am not superstitious, Its just that YOOOOO….this shit is too weird.

In the most recent dream, I am casually walking and I notice a small, Like tiny, no no like Super minute wrigly worm, sort of creature, crawling past and I freak the **** out! If you know me, you know that anything that crawls or flies and is of insect nature scares me to death. So obviously ,I scream like a little Kid and ask X to kick it out. X  however decides to grab the creature….

(I hope we get by now that X is a character in this dream off mine)


Out of nowhere, in less than a minute  the ” creature” turns into a full grown snake and it starts to chase ME! Me! WHY ME?

I do all sorts of gymnastics going over and under tables and chairs, gliding through staircases….I even managed to fit through grilled windows and scaled the walls of the building to a different room which I then got into and continued with my get away. Sweating, Panting, Confused, almost giving up , ready for this thing to devour me….I couldn’t do it anymore.

And then, just on my way out the door of a room, I meet her there and I ask her If I could trust X with getting rid of the snake and she says yes. I am not convinced though and I tell her the snake is all Xs fault anyway and that A looks too suspect.

My mother gives me a thumbs up and tells me to trust X. At this point I am so greatful, I don’t know why but I am and I run up to her  and give her the biggest hug. In this scene she is standing at our corridor where her picture was put out for all to see when she passed. She looks exhausted and almost like she has been standing at the same spot the whole time. I ask her to take a seat and she insists on standing. She says that she always has to keep a look out for us…..


With a start! I literally jolted upright in my bed like I had just been shocked back to life. You know how it happens in the ER? But like the ER in cartoons where the characters come back to life instantly? Exactly like that!

Now, I dont know about you but I felt that, that was too weird a dream to let pass. It was scary enough that I coud remember exact details but the fact that it was the third or fourth of that nature I have had caused shivers down my spine.

( Can I just put it out there that I have NOT given you a complete summary of the whole ordeal, so you can imagine the REAL DREAM, like with all the details)

On a similar encounter before I talked to my dad about it and he asked me not to think much into it, but I am starting to get a little worried. Why do I remember all these dreams so vividly ? And why are they so weird?

I hope I did not lose like 1000 folllowers and All my friends because yall think I am psycho. I really am not. I honestly just had a bad dream and I told you about it. Bad? I don’t know, I mean I got to see her, but not the best dream either.

Its just a weird dream right? Or is it?

Weird right? Just for the record though, it has been a while since I had those dreams and I am convinced that my mother had not fully gone to rest. That she felt the need to stand by and watch over us. However, now, we are close to clocking two years since and I think she finally has. I really hope she has. 

Death is such a weird thing man!


Love and Love






  • Beverly
    2 years ago

    Hi hunny, you’re not weird. I met a man on the way to work this morning. I was on the bus hoping the guy who farts a lot ddnt

  • Bev
    2 years ago

    Hi hunny! Being weird is actually not a bad thing. I’m a bit of a weirdo (okay a lot but I can’t help it), I accept it and I think life is more interesting with the shades of grey and bits of the rainbow. The dreams you have are those that preoccupy your mind all day right? I read this and my heart led me to post on here. Her spirit is in you and the things you think and worry about, she already did and continues to. Mama know’s best right! And when you’re going through the crazy bumps, she’s there with you just as much as during the smoother bits! You know the thing about energy, it just happened to be and cannot be destroyed?

    I met an angel of a man this morning (we’ll call him Harold because that’s the first name that came to mind after I said good bye). Harold is 77 years, full head of hair and active as a bunny! He sat next to me on the bus and told me to sort out my pension so that I can enjoy my retirement in future! But then he was on his way to meet a friend for breakfast in Stoke, bacon, eggs and sausage with toast. But it was also his late wife’s birthday and the anniversary of the passing of his late mum…all in a day! He had a dream of his mum the night before he said, so real he thought she were actually there. She was looking kindly at him. He almost made me cry this morning, but he also made my day! He was broken after his wife passed 2 years ago and still is. I only whimpered back ‘oh’ and ‘hmmm’ and after said that he still carries her energy and the memories within him and he said that’s all we can do. I don’t think I’ll see Harold again because he only used the bus whilst his car was being serviced. I wished him a good day and we part ways at Newcastle.

    I thought maybe I should share this story with you. It isn’t meant to do anything really. To be honest, I’m losing my train of thought because I am thinking about how happy Harold was this morning even after pouring his heart out to total stranger (me). Here you do the same, and you reach out to people or parts of people that needed to hear this. You’re a star! Love you <3

    • 2 years ago

      awww Bev youre the best! I would have read this sooner if i had not forgotten my log in details but I am glad that I now finally have! I love Harolds story and just your message in general! Thank you for reaching out, it is always nice when you write to me! Cheers to being weird , hope to see you soon! Love you too 🙂 xx

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