And then there are those days that I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. The Reality is right there in front of me, its plain, black and white but I have no emotions for it. I am neither happy nor sad. It is just like nothing happened and it is another day I have to live.
It is on such days, one of them being today, that I have absolutely no content for this my space right here on the internet. I have no emotions to spill and write lengthy about. Such days do exist.
Where you feel absolutely nothing. It is not because you don’t want to keep their memories alive or even in my case let it all out in writing so that you are not burdened, No. It is just plain simple, it doesn’t seem to FEEL on that day.
It is on days like this that I will not be able to write to you not because I do not want to but because Cancer is not on my mind day in, day out. It started out that way, but like I said, it is because this month is just that month and all those emotions came flowing back with the same power the ocean does when it is returning to the shore. I had words on end to describe how I felt because it was all so vivid. It was like I was reliving the moment. I seem to have let out quite a bit though because I am calm again,the hurt is less of late. That is a good thing.
I shall write to you soon, because these days of blank emotions never last. Cancer, she always creeps up on me and when she does, I shall write. I shall not be long that I am sure.
So until then,
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year my loves,
with you always,
love and love,