“I can’t stand it anymore.”
“Why am I even on this space?”
“What is the point of all this?”
It is easier said than done.
It is easy for me to sit here, typing up 649 Words, probably seeming oh so self righteous telling you to get it together and get moving.
It is easy to say, harder to do, but not impossible.
A long hiatus always comes with an explanation.
A need to explain the absence.
A reason for the why.
It is a letter to heaven but addressed to just one.
The third or fourth of its kind that I have penned down.
A letter to the one who gave me life and led me through it for 20 years.
An open letter to the one whose role I now play, 4 years later.
4 years, it has been 4 years but it only feels like yesterday.
An open letter to my queen in heaven, the one I called mom.
It’s already end of April!
END MONTH guys! What is time?
I have been so caught up with life that I feel like it has passed me by. Does that even make sense?
The uncertainty that curbs our 20’s can be cause for potential nervous breakdowns.
The pressure to be someone else, enough to create a diamond piece.
The constant comparison with others our age, seemingly doing big things, enough to cause blood pressure.
The picture perfect life of others painted on social media, the pathway to depression.
A time in our lives that the strength and fibre of our skin is put to test.
The options are few and far between, you either survive or you don’t.
A conscious decision has to be taken to tackle the 20’s to the ground, to learn , to take criticism ,to take life as it comes and make it work for us.
A decision to ensure that the period is exactly what it is meant to be, a learning curve, to know that as the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
But you knew that,
It is a wonderful feeling this one. Like being at the starting line of race that you KNOW you’re going to win even if you fall and stumble and even bruise a little, the fact that you will come out on top, is just as good as a head start 🙂
A month in and so far so good.
The stars are aligned and the universe is conspiring.
It is going to be what we make it.
All we have to do is channel the right energies.
We have started strong so that is going to count for motivation.
We just need to keep on keeping on.
I don’t quite understand it,
A thief in the night that comes to rob, a thief we must encounter if we seek the light.
How time flies.
In a few days, we will be having her memorial service.
A full year has gone by…another one.
Yet another year that we wish would have been spent in her presence.
Another year of hows and what ifs. A year of tears and laughter. Another year of sadness and happiness. All the motions that we only wish we would have gone through with her by our side.
I have not cried in a while. I forced myself to forget but also, apparently, it does get better in time.