Tag

Happiness

I am so excited for 2016, I cannot even contain myself! I don’t know if it is because I am finally done with undergrad and taking the next step in life or just the usual excitement a new year brings! What I can tell you though, is that I can almost feel the awesomeness that this year willl be, vibrating in my bones!

Tis’ the season to be happy and make Merry,

and what a wonderful year it has been thus far .

Praying that 2016 will be the onset of a great and prosperous new chapter for us all.

That we may flourish in all its goodness and greatness and know nothing but joy, happiness, love and laughter.

That even when things may seem to be going horribly wrong, we only see the positive in them.

I wish you all a very merry CHRISTMAS and a FRUITFUL NEW YEAR!

See you on the other side!

LOVE AND LOVE

B

XX

As per usual.It probably has become monotonous now. I shall find something new for next year! But for now…LEGOOO! 🙂

I have been making plans to throw down for my family for a while now, and now that I have time on my hands, it is a PLAAAN!

Any ideas on what I should cook for them? I am so excited though, every time I get to cook for them makes me feel like I am filling in mum’s shoes! It feels like home again.

I am still drinking water on a daily! My skin is singing praises!

I am currently reading all things finance and excel! I really miss the days I had time for novels…I can’t wait for next year to get more reading in.

I really want to see the results of all these gym workouts! YAAS, I finally joined the gym and I LOVE it! #Newbodycomingsoon

Playing JB Purpose! Call me a #Belieber.

Wasting no time to get some sleep in! I was up at 6am this morning out of the house running errands, back by 11…slept from 11am to 4pm….see my life? #Beautysleep bruh!

Wishing I was playing in the snow in Sweden with my mum, waiting to usher in a white Christmas! She probably would be watching me though…the cold was not her buddy!

Enjoying the free time I have to REST! I feel like I started the year on my feet and I didn’t get two minutes to catch a breath, so I am definitely enjoying this.

Wondering whether it is possible to see results after two months? I am really anticipating that #Flattummy guys!

Loving the fact that I can say that this has been the most challenging year yet and that I rose above it all! Failing was not an option no matter how hard it got and I MADE IT!

Marvelling at the strength and endurance you can master if you stay focused and set on the end goal! The ten thousand nervous breakdowns are a NON ISSUE!

Listening to CHAINS by Nick Jonas.

The need to hashtag everything today is REAL! 🙂

Wearing a loose maxi dress…standard dress code after gym! Loose and Comfortable.

Following Quantico has become my new favorite thing to do! I am addicted to crime and investigation series, this explains my choice of studies for my Masters. Can’t wait for the first day of class!

Noticing that today is probably the fifth time or so this whole year that I have sat in the TV room watching teli! You mean this is what the chill life looks like?

Thinking that 2016 will be a GOOOOOOOOOOD Year! My nigga I feel it! 🙂

Feeling super EXCITED that I will be done with my undergrad on FRIDAY!!! Whoop whoop…..Its been a good three and half years,a degree and a minor later, and  its about that time! #Graduatethings

I am Bookmarking all the books and articles I want to read next year!

Opening the KRA website…I finally retrieved my Pin. It’s been a whole year coming. I am actually quite embarrased that it took me that long but hey!

Giggling at all the jokes being cracked on this Baby Daddy show on 115…lol

What is your December looking like? I feel like its the perfect time to take STOCK for the whole year (Yeah I know, Captain obvious) and just reflect #Clichequeen! I have been taking a few minutes in the sauna everyday to do this and I might do a post,MIGHT!

Well anyway….I hope you get time to do the same.

Have a lovely week my readers, thank you for all the love you have shown me this year! It has been a great blogging 1 year journey! 66 posts, 1199 followers,7600 views and 3,283 visitors later! I cannot wait for many more to come!

P.S. I was going to do a blogversary post but it sucks that my blogs anniversary falls on the day just before my mothers passing anniversary and this year I couldn’t get myself to write.

ANNNNNNNYWAY, you guys have been AMAZING! THANK YOU A Million times over. I love you all!

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LOVE & LOVE

B

XX.

So I’m sat in dad’s room where the WiFi connects better and where I go when I want to think about my mother. It is 11 am and I have to run off to work in a few minutes. I think I am a bit obsessed with working all of a sudden.

Well not all of a sudden but since I got my first pay cheque. It was exhilarating! The whole process, from the moment I laid my hands on the  cheque  to depositing it to the bank, the waiting of two days for it to go via the Central Bank and then finally when I was told the money is settled in my account. It was quite the thrill!

No, not because I have never handled money, but because for once the money was MINE! That I worked for! Mine. It wasn’t much but it sure did give me quite the rush. You should have seen me paying my dad all that I owed him. I borrowed money from him the previous week with a promise to pay him back and I was so excited that I could actually pay back!! Is this how you feel when you get your first Salary? Because then I cannot wait for that day. ( It’s complicated but what I am paid is not exactly a salary,so yeah)

However, I digress.

So I’m sat here reflecting and It comes to mind that I hate being out of my comfort zone. That my strive for everything to work out as I had planned is quite real. I think I have mentioned it on here before about how I hate when things are not in order. The order that I had planned.

I get moody. I want to be alone. My plans have been ruined and it is eating me up. Now I have a headache from thinking too much about it. Why is everyone talking to me? Why do you keep asking me the same question? What in the hell is wrong with my hair? Why can’t it stay in place? I want to go home. I want to be in my COMFORT ZONE! My head is going to blow up from all the overheating. I need water. I think I need to sleep it off……..cooled off.

I might just have a problem. Or maybe I have slight perfectionist tendencies. All I know is that when I think about how moody I was afterwards,when I am in my zone, my zone of comfort, where everything works as it is supposed to, I feel silly! I feel sorry for the people around me who had to deal with my ice cold stares when they asked me something or my one word answers. The people who text me when I am in such a state and have to deal with me in that state.

It really is a pity. I need to stop obsessing over perfection. I need to get comfortable with being in situations that force me out of my comfort zone. What is life if that is the way you live it? Because things will not always be perfect! You will never always be in your comfort zone. Sure sometimes things will pan out exactly how you wanted them to and you will call it a success but then again things may not? Does then that mean it’s a failure? Maybe, but maybe not. Maybe there’s a hidden lesson in the struggle that can only be taught through “failure”, maybe you need to realize a vice about yourself that needs working on OR maybe there’s a moment that you’re not living in that needs to be lived in even if it means everything else goes wrong. Maybe out of your comfort zone is where your success lies. Maybe it is where you thrive! Where you shine brighter than any other star.

I have learned my lesson, I need to just let things BE! I keep repeating this to myself but I really need to. When you let things be, things happen, things that make you happy that you let the things be 🙂 So just let it BE, B! 🙂

FEELING 22, with all these life lessons!My Birthday is coming up and I have to say I have been feeling quite grown of late so allow it 🙂

I am ready to be thrown in to the deep. I am ready to be forced out of my comfort zone. I am ready to find success in disorganization that may only be in my head ,but that the reality is that everything is actually very much organized. Are you ready?

Come at me 🙂

Just going to leave this here, missing this life
Just going to leave this here, missing this life

Is this becoming a motivational / inspiration/ whatever else those type of blogs are called? I have no idea, I just Know that sometimes it is better to put it down in writing.It makes it easier to hold oneself accountable….and since this blog is my therapy session, why not,right?

Keep Reading,

Love and Love

B.

xx

Then mother’s day rolled around and so did the Instagram pictures!

Everyone showered their mother’s with love and praise and what sweet words were said. It was beautiful to read. It really indeed was wonderful to know that everyone appreciates their mum as much.

I hope it is not a one day thing but an every day thing, except on this day, Mother’s day, we go all out to remind them that they are special. That they mean the entire world to us. That without them we would be nothing. That, that “spark” , that “shine” that different factor we have about us would be non existent without them. And then when we get a little bit vain, we boast of the superb genes they passed on down to us. We thank them for those too.

It is a great reminder of what remarkable women our mother’s are and the type of super heroes they are. Wonder woman and Cat woman aside.Our Mother’s are the BUSINESS!

So tomorrow when she asks you to clean up after you’ve been out all day toiling at school, suck up those feelings and bend that back,Clean UP! When she asks for the remote which is a few feet away from her and yet you have to come all the way from your room, do it with a smile. When she says no about getting that one thing you have  been hinting at for months, understand that she knows why she is saying no. Trust me she does!

They only want the best for us. From the moment they find out they are pregnant and they choose to keep you, carry you for nine months, trust they only want the best! Because honey she could have easily flashed you down some toilet somewhere, she would have got some crude doctor somewhere to tug at your tiny features within her womb and force you out. She would have TERMINATED you…but she didn’t ! She agreed to go through a near death experience in labor just to have you! and then there after she worked her ass off to provide for you,to make sure you have the finer things in life.

Our mother’s are life and I miss mine terribly. Every day I am reminded of all that she has done for me and I couldn’t be more grateful for the lengths she went to make sure we turned out great. That we had everything we needed to be comfortable.

When mother’s day rolls around. I am reminded of the times she smacked us when we did wrong and I am thankful. I am reminded of the times she has said no to me and I see the blessing in the no. Of the times she hugged me and showed affection and it reminds me how much I miss having her around.

I thank my mother every day but especially today! Thank you for making sure we were molded to be the best versions of ourselves. Thank you for being loving and thoughtful. Thank you for the Yes’s and the No’s. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Happy Mother’s day to all special Mums out there !!! You are a special kind, blessed in a special way!!! ( This was typed on Mother’s day,  promise 🙂 )

Wasn't she a beauty?

Love and Love,

B

xx

So with Shonda playing with our emotions these past two weeks and my “holiday” or lack of it, giving me a complete headache, I had to take a trip down South. I had to take all my woes to the ocean…I had to let them go with the wind. I simply needed, to let my hair down and just exhale. Exhale all the exhaustion, stress, drama, work load, everything!

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How Long over due is this post though? Blame it on how stressful my life is at the moment. I need a vacation or two with the way things are going to be honest. All the same though, It is finally here.

Making: A lot of noise as I break this Ice cube in my mouth. Is this a bad habit? Is it bad for my teeth?

Cooking : The menu for this week has Honey dipped pork chops included in it and boy am I EXCITED! I made Lasagna last week and it gave me quite the rush. I love being in the Kitchen. It sucks that I can’t do it everyday.

Drinking : Soda! It has started creeping up back into my diet, I NEED TO STOP!

Reading :I haven’t read my novels in weeks 🙁 I got caught up with school. This is bad.

Wanting: CHANGE! Change is good. Some people are afraid of change and rightfully so. However,being able to move from your comfort zone, into a “new” zone, one that brings positive change of course, is essential for your growth. EMBRACE IT!

Playing : 4- 5 Seconds by Rihanna, Kanye and Paul McCartney. LOVE IT!

Wasting : Time sleeping. I am annoyed at this!

Wishing : I could rewind my life back to last year December and January this year. I was mentally, Physically and emotionally at a good place. Right now?Not so much.

Enjoying : Being off the grid. Taking a break from social media every once in a while is healthy. A NICE CLEAN breath of fresh air. * Too much repetition in that sentence but only for emphasis 🙂 *

Liking : My squat progress!!Lol.

Wondering: How is that GPA gonna go up? The studies are literally murdering me.

Loving: My friends Company. The type that shows up at my house on a Friday morning for breakfast and ring the Bell like they own the place. After which studying for like ten minutes follows and then DANCE SESSION till dark. I love you all from here to the moon and back times INFINITY! See you Friday?

Marveling : at online series watching. I mean I knew it existed but I was addicted to downloads,,,This side of the grass though, Too green. lol

Needing: To disappear for a few days. Put myself together and start again? Recollection is always a good thing no?

Smelling : Of my perfume duuh. lol

Wearing: A black maxi dress…The weather has outlined the essentials.

Following :EMPIRE….finally! But Guys what was the hype? I mean Cookie is quite something but other than  that? Sigh….as Vanessa, Joy and Feizal eyeball me. Lol

Noticing : That I can make or break me. Just me alone. I DEFINE ME. It is up to ME! I need to stop blaming other people.

Wishing you guys a wonderful month, just in case I am not able to write to you soon. I am sure you understand.

God bless,

love and love

B.xx

It is in honor of female bloggers out there.We need appreciation every once in a while and this award is just for that purpose. Look at me saying “we” claiming to be a blogger here, hey! Lol. I was nominated by the writer of theafricangirl blog, Michelle okeyo. Thank you mama.

And so then, with no further ado,

(Just so you know, nominees are required to answer the following set of questions, just in case you wonder what the hell I’m doing. Okay good, Lets go)

 If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?

Simba! King of the Animal Kingdom. Yes a lion is the animal I would want to be. Wait scratch that,not the lion, the LIONESS! There we go ,I got it now. Let’s face it, the Lioness is basically the one who runs the pride with the hunting and what not , the lion is just there to fend off attackers and look scary. Lol. No i’m not being an animal feminist I promise. Anywaaaaay….this cat family is where I would want to be. Why? Because of this wholeness, the power,the Leadership, the ” We made it” they exude. The ability to speak life into other animals,lol….did you read fables as a child? I want to make it in life and I want to stand tall and not be ashamed. I want to be able to command a room with my personality and speak life into others. Like the Lion, I want to lead but with humility. I want to motivate people and have them believe in themselves in an instant because I am a Lion, I am surely speaking the truth, you know? Does this come off as “too proud?” I hope not….The lion/lioness because at the moment I’m probably as timid as a mouse. We can’t be that, I can’t be that. Not today. Not in this life. You know?

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And Just look how much love she has to give…Definitely a lioness!

What legacy would you like to leave behind?

I had to Google this. Lol. I mean I generally know what a legacy is but just to be sure you know? Well the legacy I would like to leave behind is that….wow this is a bit hard. Which is a bit embarrassing. Okay okay… I want to be remembered for many things, for my want of quality output in whatever I do, for my passion for fashion, for my drive and ambition , but most of all, If you remember none of that, remember my smile. I don’t know who smiles more than I do….I have received quite the backlash for always smiling which I agree sometimes lets people get too comfortable and even gets them to take advantage. But the Smile on my face when I am having the hardest day you could possibly imagine, when I am crying on the inside, when I can’t afford to smile….My smile to you so that you may have a better day than I am having , My smile to you because no one has smiled at you that day, My smile to you that shows you that God is very much present, My smile to you not so that you like me, but because He has given me another day to smile…That is what I want to be remembered for. That I could always afford a smile….even to the ” Least of his brothers” . Matthew 25:40 ( I know it is not food or drink or even going to see someone in jail, but i think it qualifies)and even at the lowest points of my days and life.

Name one thing you love about yourself, why?

I love that I always look to see the good in others before anything else. I have been called naive and “too nice” and this has even got some to take advantage of me but I do not apologize for it. Sure I am more careful now and I make sure that my ” Niceness” is not taken advantage of , but on my first encounter with someone I always look to see the good. There are many good people out there but there are bad people too and it is unfortunate when that is the first vibe I get when I meet someone. But oh well. I love this about myself because it lets me give everyone a fair chance,no discrimination.  The case of whether I can stand one’s not so good traits after I have seen the good is another story though. Unfortunate but true.

What would you like to change about yourself or improve on?

Improve on my patience. I changed it and became a bit more patient over the months but I must admit I still get impatient many a times. With people, Slow service,myself ….I like results and I like them quick. Let’s face it though, in this life it is never always going to be the case and therefore I need to practice patience. When the waiter said 5 minutes and they take 15 minutes. When we agreed to meet at 1pm and you show up at 1:30pm. When someone has a character trait that pisses you off but you have to get through an hour or more without snapping at them because they probably can’t help it. Patience… I need to improve on that.

If you could fly for a day, where would you go?

SWEDEN! I really did fall in love with this Country and I would go back in a heartbeat if the opportunity presented itself. Jag älskar Sverige! The people , the life , the atmosphere, the language and culture! I would agree to deal with the weather in Winter if it meant I went back to the place that stole my heart.

If you could have supernatural abilities what would it/they be?

The ability to see into the future. Not being able to know what tomorrow holds is scary for a person who likes to make sure that everything will be in order and work out as PLANNED. I’m slowly accepting that that will never be the case and it is okay. sigh!

Where would you like to live? Why?

Ummm like you don’t know my answer already. SWEDEN , duuuh! Guys…I don’t know what it is but I feel strongly for this country. I have seen a future ( Hah! Yes I got supernatural powers for a day) in Sweden. With a boyfriend/husband and a job and myself speaking Swedish. I have seen it. Amen!

If you could meet anyone, who would it be? {past, present, future}

My mother! I would do anything to see her again. To “meet” her. In the future, tomorrow, here or in heaven. To be honest if she was to come back, I would probably not be afraid. I have had dreams where she comes back, she keeps her distance ,and I’m scared at first but I accept it. Because I miss her terribly. Because I would do anything to be with my mother again. Missing you miss thing.

Why do you blog?

I blog as a form of therapy for my soul. For me AND for my readers. To help me/ us get through the painful losses in our lives by sharing and knowing that we are not the only ones out there going through something like that. Blogging allows me to let out things that I would otherwise keep in my heart for fear of scaring those close to me if I told them out rightly. For fear of making them uncomfortable. If I am being honest though…I myself would not be able to let it out in words even if someone was willing. It would be hard. But behind the screen ,this screen,It is much easier.And so….I blog.

Would you consider yourself happy?

Today? Right here and now? No….not as much as I would like to be.  I am going through something. Something because I don’t know what else to call it seeing as I do not even know what is bothering me. All I know is that I have been happier and the way I am currently feeling is not a way I want to be feeling. I have no idea what is going on to be honest. My dad is going nuts asking me what is wrong and me saying “nothing” because I do not know what else to say because I really don’t know. I mean I am not constantly gloomy and mopey… but it is obvious that I am not me. Hopefully I get over this low soon enough .

Well That’s it Folks. Once again, Thank you Michelle Okeyo for the nomination. I still Do not know how to tag on here but hopefully you get an email notifying you of this post. You know with me being on your favorites and all, you probably have me on mail too.lol. Thanks Girly.

I nominate Teshie Ogallo of the Styletech blog and Michelle Nyakiamo of Whenlifechanges and Katie of Everythingisgoingtobesuperduper 🙂 heck…..I nominate all the female bloggers following me and would love to do this ,hugs and kisses .x

To my readers…always love 🙂

B.

xx

It is 30th January. I haven’t delivered on the promised posts. Catching up with school has all of me occupied. I will try in the coming few months to have at least one of “these” posts until i feel like I have exhausted my word love for Sweden and Europe in general. Today though we can have a summary? yes?Maybe? Enjoy!

Maybe I should start this one with the hashtag  #JesuisCharlie. Maybe the newspaper shouldn’t have been so satirical. Maybe the Muslims shouldn’t have taken it so personally. Maybe we should all respect the freedom of expression. Maybe I shouldn’t get into this. Maybe just maybe…but what stands out is that people died, blood was shed, someone lost their loved one, someone lost their mother. For that reason then #JesuisCharlie. May their souls rest in peace.