Sometimes I write but my musings never get to see the light of day for some reason or another. I think I wrote this piece at some point in 2016 . I am not too sure why it never went up but reading it today, it seems so fitting especially as I start a new phase in life: life after my Master’s. It is just as well that we are close to the new year (okay 2 months shy, but still) and there’s no better time to start preparing for it than now. I think what I get from it now is not necessarily the presence of a physical vision board but rather the importance of having a VISION to start with. A vision coupled with a drive to see it to fruition. I hope my 22 year old self motivates you as much as she motivated me. Happy reading and all the best!
I can’t seem to quell the feeling.
The missing, the longing, the wishing…
Each time I do a post like this, I seem to always have some sort of secret hope that it will be the last time that I have to write about how much I miss my mother. That at some point or another I will become attuned to the reality, the one without her in the picture. However, this just does not seem to be happening.
It doesn’t get better, it is even worse when you’re in a distant land and alone.
My dreams are back, the one’s of her. She is always so present until I wake up and then she is not.
I miss my mum.
I long for the times and the memories we will never share. I constantly think about how, in another reality, I would be ringing her weekly, maybe daily, to tell her about my time here.
A quick phone call on my way to school probably explaining how full the tube was and hence the source of my coming cold because you know, contagious diseases, enclosed stuffy spaces, zero degree weather.
Another phone call, on a Sunday afternoon after church, window shopping on Oxford Street, “ What would you like me to get you? My gift to you,” I would say and she, “ Have you seen any nice culottes?” She loved culottes, even before they were thing. She had this green pair, I think its still in her wardrobe. I always thought they were a weird piece of clothing…until now 🙂
I really do miss her.
I am hoping that you are all well, it has been a while.
We are at the end of 2017, Imagine THAT! I don’t think any year will pass me by without making me think that it went by waaaaay too fast! Where does the time go?
The last time I did a post like this was in FEBRUARY ( I am quite embarrassed actually) and seeing as we are at the end of the year, I figure taking stock for the whole year makes more sense.
It is easier said than done.
It is easy for me to sit here, typing up 649 Words, probably seeming oh so self righteous telling you to get it together and get moving.
It is easy to say, harder to do, but not impossible.
It is a letter to heaven but addressed to just one.
The third or fourth of its kind that I have penned down.
A letter to the one who gave me life and led me through it for 20 years.
An open letter to the one whose role I now play, 4 years later.
4 years, it has been 4 years but it only feels like yesterday.
An open letter to my queen in heaven, the one I called mom.
The uncertainty that curbs our 20’s can be cause for potential nervous breakdowns.
The pressure to be someone else, enough to create a diamond piece.
The constant comparison with others our age, seemingly doing big things, enough to cause blood pressure.
The picture perfect life of others painted on social media, the pathway to depression.
A time in our lives that the strength and fibre of our skin is put to test.
The options are few and far between, you either survive or you don’t.
A conscious decision has to be taken to tackle the 20’s to the ground, to learn , to take criticism ,to take life as it comes and make it work for us.
A decision to ensure that the period is exactly what it is meant to be, a learning curve, to know that as the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
But you knew that,
It is a wonderful feeling this one. Like being at the starting line of race that you KNOW you’re going to win even if you fall and stumble and even bruise a little, the fact that you will come out on top, is just as good as a head start 🙂
A month in and so far so good.
The stars are aligned and the universe is conspiring.
It is going to be what we make it.
All we have to do is channel the right energies.
We have started strong so that is going to count for motivation.
We just need to keep on keeping on.
We are 14 days into the new month and this is the first time that I have gotten a minute to sit down and log into my blog in the past one month.
I have had an interesting 3 weeks with twice the workload, twice the challenge and half the sleep. It has been an exciting ride and I am loving every minute of it.
Every day, I learn,
I learn new things about myself.
I have learned that my soul is one that is always a searching, that challenges give me a high and that the minute I am not on that high my motivation dwindles, I stagnate.
I am currently on a high. I have a good feeling that I will be on this high for quite a while and I LIKE that.
Why not #TembeaKenya to a county you have never been to? A weekend away with friends, good food, laughter, love and a whole lot of new memories?
My thirst for travel is real and I think I am rubbing it off on my friends. I can’t seem to sit still and after Ethiopia, I still felt like I was not done. I was not “balling” enough to travel out of the country but I needed to scratch. I was itching for new adventure, new lands, I was itching to travel.
I reached out to my friend Vanessa and laid it down for her, there were no options, it was Travel or Travel. I got the ball rolling and she got the plans in place. Nyandarua county was not ready for the 10 eager young adults coming it’s way.
Only though, WE were NOT ready for Nyandarua county!!!
There is something about the fact that, today is the first day of the month that just happens to land on the first working day of the week, that has me in all good spirits and positive vibes. I also have to give it to the weather for sparing us with the cold and just serving us with all kinds of warmth and goodness.